Courage and 37 weeks (almost!)

I haven’t taken a belly shot in 2 weeks. I’m still expecting this little guy. Tomorrow, I will be at 37 weeks. Before becoming pregnant, I always had fears about what might go wrong with a pregnancy, so much so that I almost wished my way out of becoming a mum. What a mistake that would have been! Somehow, it has taken several missteps and falls before I arrived at today. Belly plump with a full term baby, I am now fully aware of how I must be brave if I want to be a part of this world, to be an active participant in my life.

I want to share this passage from poet David Whyte that I found on Oprah.com:

Can I live a courageous life?

If you look at the root of the word “courage,” it doesn’t mean running under the machine-gun bullets of the enemy, wearing a Sylvester Stallone headband, with glistening biceps and bandoliers of ammunition around one’s neck. The word “courage” comes from the old French word coeurmeaning “heart.” So “courage” is the measure of your heartfelt participation in the world.

Human beings are constantly trying to take courageous paths in their lives: in their marriages, in their relationships, in their work and with themselves. But the human way is to hope that there’s a way to take that courageous step—without having one’s heart broken. And it’s my contention that there is no sincere path a human being can take without breaking his or her heart.

There is no marriage, no matter how happy, that won’t at times find you wanting and break your heart. In raising a family, there is no way to be a good mother or father without a child breaking that parental heart. In a good job, a good vocation, if we are sincere about our contribution, our work will always find us wanting at times. In an individual life, if we are sincere about examining our own integrity, we should, if we are really serious, at times, be existentially disappointed with ourselves.

So it can be a lovely, merciful thing to think, “Actually, there is no path I can take without having my heart broken, so why not get on with it and stop wanting these extra-special circumstances which stop me from doing something courageous?”

I am ready for the next step, to become someone’s parent, mother. Not because I know that I can do it but because I now know that it’s normal to be afraid but still be brave enough to take all of it on. It will be worth my life, my time, my heart and all.

Pain

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

Kahlil Gibran, on Pain

Others

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Your Time

Foxgloves

Not a lot for today but wanted to let you all know that I am still here. I am still listening to my muse and feeling like I’m on fire with creative energy. These days, I’ve been spending it de-cluttering and organizing and does it feel good! I am also re-reading The Design of Everyday Things, it’s very inspiring.

Today’s bits:

These pebble earring studs are very organic and raw
. I think they will look great with a linen outfit.

This limited edition Iced Tea set from Heath Ceramics has caught my eye for a while now. It would look so good on our chestnut dining table.

Our dinner conversation tonight involved horse poop and mushrooms that lead me to now inform you that mushrooms do grow on horse manure. According to dad, the mushrooms picked (washed and cooked) from such cultivation are actually delicious with bacon and eggs in the morning.

What do you think of this cool mid-century inspired pendant/necklace from Kris Nations?

Before I go:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

One Fish, Two Fish, Me

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  ~ Dr. Seuss

IMG_0194

I have been trying to find myself lately. The reality is that I’ve been here all this time.

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” ~ Harvey Fierstein

Happy Easter 2010

rabbit2.png

I wanted to take this opportunity to wish all of you a very Happy Easter (especially if you do celebrate it).

To me, this season is all about hope. I wish that you will never let go of hope.

“Hope never abandons you, you abandon it.” – George Weinberg

Live

Bellagio - Chihuly Glass Installation

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854)

Wonderful

Spray Roses - Jul 18 2009

There are wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them. – Charles D. Gill

Tomatillos

Tomatillos

I love how these growing tomatillos look like little Chinese lanterns. Ever since I got into gardening, I have a new found respect for Mother Nature. Mostly I’m thinking about all that chile verde that I will be eating.

“It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive.
There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good,
And we must hunger after them.”- George Eliot

Buds

Poppies - Angels Choir

The poppies that I planted in my new flower bed are starting to blossom. The colors are just the faintest of pinks, reds, coral and white. They are such delicate things but so beautiful when they put on their display.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin